I’m done with New Year’s “Resolutions.” Â I thinkÂ the reason they seldom worked was becauseÂ Â they Â targeted the wrong behavior. Â For example, my resolution to “be on time” Â never worked because the root cause is my stubbornÂ obsession on the (any)Â task at hand and therefore no sense ofÂ time. Â Is there a 12 step program for that? Â Probably. Â But I’m not resolving Â to join it.
As for losing 10 pounds, well. Â If Â I had kept THAT New Year’sÂ resolution, I would have disappeared completely by 1985. Â Again, the problem wasn’tÂ that I couldn’t stick to a diet, Â but that I loved delicious food more than I lovedÂ to be thin. Â And at my age, I’m not even going to TRY to fix that!
Instead, I’m going for New Years’ Hopes this year. Â And only three. Another reason my New Years resolutions typically went awry – there were often so many that I needed a clip board to remember them.
First of all, I hope toÂ spend more time with people, especially with the ones I love and that love me. IÂ love solitude. Â I loveÂ the time alone to write, quilt, play piano, or read. But these are not team sports and ifÂ the years have taught meÂ anything, Â it is is that all our lives are very very fragile. Â I need to cherish the moments I have with the people in my life.
Secondly, I hope to liveÂ in the moment. Â It’s really all I have. Â In addition to being fragile, life is astonishingly unpredictable. Â How many babies’ smiles, bees on blossoms, lightning bugs, puppies tumbling, lavender sunsets and full moons have I missed in my franticÂ rushÂ to be…. somewhere.
Third, I hope I will be more attentive to the needs of other people. Â Helping others greatly enriches my life and most of the time, Â requires very little from me. Â Sometimes all that’s needed is a smile for the harried cashier or a conversation with a lonely person. Â I have time for that. Â I always have had. Â And while I’m at it, I hope toÂ do a better job of accepting and loving others as they are.
So I’m not resolving to do anything this year. Â But these areÂ my hopes. Â Â And who knows, those pounds might finally get lost in the process.